John is Dreamy

In tardy refutation of my colleague's previous post on McCain (he has been going wild with blogging, eh?), I would like to dedicate this entry in praise of the dream-boat that is John.

OMG, the first reason for my love of John is that he was in the army. What doesn't scream walrus-like masculinity like heroically wielding a gun and getting captured and romantically imprisoned for the glory of our beautiful country in the name of Vietnamese imperialism? When deciding on my crushes (with which my vote goes naturally hand-in-hand), I definitely seek someone who can doggedly follow orders.

Next, will you just check out Cindy? I mean really, she is gorgeous. And has money. If she thinks he's worth it, I'm definitely on board. I totally want to be her when I grow up. I mean, did you see her volunteering to help all those yucky poor people in front of the film crews? She's so great. And, even if, as my colleague suggested, he left his old wife for Cindy, at least we all know he got it right the second time. We all make mistakes, right?

And finally, I looove McCain becaus he stands for The Family. You can tell, because his daughter loves him so much, that she marketed propaganda about him to children! And she even started a "blogette" about him to prep the crowds my age! This campaign isn't just about winning the election. It's about a lot more to John. It's about priming the world to swallow him, his slightly-watered-down version of the Bush Doctrine, and The Family for years to come.